Tofu The Vegan Zombie by William Vaughan

(Original blog post - Sunday, 28 October 2012
(Below text & photo originally Posted on Flickr - 11th February 2010)

Tofu The Vegan Zombie... Coming to a rotten apple near you!!

Tofu is a friendly zombie, created from a botched experiment in Professor Vost's laboratory.

Lab Monkey # 5, one of Vost's lab animals, stuffed a block of tofu into the zombie boy's open skull after accidentally losing the brain.

As a result, Tofu eats only vegetables and grains. However, if Tofu ever loses his "tofu-brain", he turns into a dangerous zombie creature, craving human flesh!

Tofu comes in a cool broken crate covered in "fresh zombie" & "no brains added" stickers with all the rotten fruit and veg' he can eat!!

I got him on (US) evil - eBay ... I just discovered him while I was searching for something else and then that was it for me lol I got so sidetracked by his cuteness I still can't remember what I was originally looking for hahahaha ....

Watch Tofu The Vegan Zombie on Youtube!
Tofu the Vegan Zombie in Zombie Dearest.

or click the video below if you prefer!

                                    

I'm guessing you probably have a bit of a thing for zombies seeing as you're currently on 

this page, but what about the moronic brain munching variety?

And exactly what would you do if you were ever in a situation where you were very likely 

about to be assaulted by a member of the stinky-undead?

Imagine the scenario, there's a zombie in front of you, he/she wants to munch your brain

 and all you can do is think "What the (insert swearword here) should I do to kill this 

(insert another swearword)? Well fear not, because Herbie can help!

Sometime around 2008, I wrote a little blog post on my Bebo page that could just save
 your life:

My 10 Step Guide to ensuring you win the fight and get to keep your brain, a few months 

or maybe a year later, being stuck for ideas and having just opened an account, I decided 

to write it up as a lens on Squidoo entitled "How to Survive a Zombie Attack".

As Squidoo is no longer a thing, and I'm having a devil of a time publishing my lenses on 

Hubpages, I've written it out for you below...In the words of Edgar Frog: "Read it, it may
 just save your life"!
Ever Found Yourself Plagued by Zombies, intent On Munching Your Brain??

Well lucky (or unlucky for you if you have) here's my 10 step guide to defeating the foul-smelling beasties once and for all!

I find that when faced with a life or death situation it's always preferable to 1) be prepared and 2) not have to remember very many "rules" which may help you survive it.

It's a short list, but hopefully it will be of help if and when the time comes in which you find yourself in a situation in which you need to use it

So with that in mind, I have created this fool proof way of insuring my own (and anyone else who reads this) survival and here it is:

It's Common Sense Really,  But In The Heat Of The Moment You May Just Forget...

Read this guide so that when they attack you will be ready for them!

MAKE SURE YOU READ IT CAREFULLY IT MIGHT JUST SAVE YOUR LIFE...

STEP 1) Rip off one of its arms.

STEP 2) Taunt it with it (from a safe distance) until it stretches out its other arm to retrieve its missing limb.

STEP 3) Beat the outstretched arm with the one your holding until it drops off.

STEP 4) Check over your shoulder for more zombies.

STEP 5) Coast clear? ... Choose a leg and beat at the kneecap until it snaps.

STEP 6) Start on other leg.

STEP 7) Once the zombie is on the ground laugh in its face for a while and tease it about what tasty brains you have...

When bored proceed to next step.

STEP 8) Jump up and down on its head whilst shouting "Die Fu*ker" until its rotten head explodes and brains ooze out.

STEP 9) Optional extra... Take a long knife and fillet it.

(N.B. Only proceed to STEP 9 - if you don't mind the smell of rotten intestines.)

STEP 10) Pick up one of its arms, snap the hand off and pat yourself on the back with it.

Hugs,